dearest anna {happy 5th birthday}

Dearest Anna,

I'm late again on your birthday post, but not to worry, I've made sure that I wouldn't let myself go too long before writing to you since just as quickly as you turned five, you'll turn six if I don't hurry up!

April 28, 2008 was a most beautiful day as it was the day that you came into this world!

At the tender age of five, you love: art, art and more art, My Little Ponies, Littlest Pet Shop, singing and dancing, makeup (my fault, but I don't let you wear anything except when you sneak my lipgloss from my purse or give me a kiss just so you can have some on your lips), Disney princesses, stuffed animals,  and anything colorful and sparkly.

You have a personality on you that goes for miles and miles.

All who meet you are drawn to you.

 Sometimes simple and sweet.

 Much of the time a jokester (and man, are you funny? Sometimes inappropriately so and it's all I can do to bite my tongue and not laugh!)!

You are one of the most independent 5 year olds I know.

When you are stubborn...

 boy, are you stubborn (and for the record, I do admit it's from me...there Mom and Dad, I said it!)!

My sweet girl, we have our moments. You are different than the other birds, as you should be! There are days when I wish that God would drop me a line, no a rope, or better yet, a manual for you.

There are days when "challenge" is an understatement. I am learning slowly, how to be the best parent I can be to you.

What I have always done from the moment you arrived and will do forever more, is to love you fiercely even on the hard days, to teach you all that I am able,

and to let you spread your wings...

 as you were meant to fly!

Happy 5th Birthday, my strong, beautiful, smart, funny, loving, girl!

My heart is filled with love for you, eternally.

Love,

Mommy

never would have dreamed...{mother's day 2013}

Tap, tap...ahem...hello? Anyone out there?

I haven't blogged in what seems like ages. Life has been a whirlwind since last month. 

We suddenly bought a new house and sold our current one (more on that later). 

We have been living in a staged home, which if you have yet to experience, is beyond difficult with 4 children 7 and under. I've kept up with taking pictures and have much to document prior to today, but in the meantime,

I never would have dreamed...

that I would be a mother to four children. Each of them with their own personalities, beautiful to me inside and out.

Motherhood has daily challenges, far greater than I could have ever imagined.

I have days of laughter and tears, days where I think that I've reached my boiling point and wonder if I'm good enough for them?

It's not that I feel as though I need to be perfect, I don't and I'm certainly not.

We are on this earth for such a short time and I just want to do right by them. 

All I want is to give them my unconditional love. On some days, I feel as though I fall short and I guess that is what most would call, human nature.

Next to my husband, they are my heart and soul, my everything.

Kieran, Anna, Tatum, and Liam, I love you with every fiber of my being.

Thank you for giving me the gift of being your mommy.

thoughts on a little girl i love...{tatum}

It seems strange to say it...a little girl.

She is growing into a little girl.

She is no longer a baby at the tender age of two years and four months.

She she is a kick in the pants, the bees knees, the butter to my bread.

She sings an entrance song when she prances into a room, most often accompanied by the words, "Super Tatum!"

She is my night owl, just like me, and on the car ride home from Easter helped me to stay awake by counting over and over to 100. 

She makes the number one hundred sound so fun and exciting. 

That's just her personality, so large for something so very, very, pint sized.

She is and always will be my baby, 

and she is most definitely,

a little girl I love.

and just like that {seven}

Seven years ago, right about now, I had eaten a piece of preggo pizza. 

I had had a glass of rootbeer.

I was waiting.

Seven years ago, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to broken waters that signaled your impending arrival.

I'm typically able to write with ease, the words fly out of my mind and through my fingertips.

Tonight, I find it a struggle and the words don't come as quickly as I request.

I am overcome with emotion, filled with unimaginable love and joy for all you have given me.

I only hope and pray that I have given you the same.

 I am thankful that God gave you to me and your daddy.

You are the best big brother that any sibling could ask for.

I cherish you with all that I am.

March 27, 2006, the world became a better place.

And just like that my sweet boy, you've turned seven.

May all of your hopes, wishes and dreams...

come true!

it will be here soon...{he's turning seven}

It will be here soon...

he's turning seven and I'm not quite sure how we got here. 

I know that he's the sweetest, most kind-hearted boy.

He is helpful, loving and gentle.

He tests my patience and in those moments I don't always feel like I am being the best mama to him.

Yet, he never ceases to amaze me when he tells me that I am the best mommy in the world, that I am beautiful.

At days away from seven, he has grown physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

He's found a passion in hip hop dancing and when I attempted to use it as leverage, it brought about the most amazing words he's ever spoken.

"No, Mommy! Not hip hop!"

"I dream to dance!"

I'm stopped in my tracks. True passion...I have no other words.

He's a football throwing, basketball bouncing, minecraft building, Skylander playing, hip hop dancing, tree skiiing, faith inquiring, fun-loving big brother, kind of kid.

He is my first born and he's turning seven in fourteen days.

I'd go back in a heartbeat to relive it all, patience tests and everything.

He tells me he'll hug and kiss me even when he's old...

and I know at seven years young,

he means

every

word.

It will be here soon...

and my heart is filled with love with the gift that we named,

Kieran Andrew.

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milestones {first food}

On Wednesday,

I ate food for the very first time.

This picture is rather deceiving...

because I really thought that the food was very tasty... 

so tasty,

 I ate like a champ.

 I was so very happy, what a momentous occasion...

 a true milestone!

And then...

I'd had enough.

The End.

it's going too fast...

It's going too fast...

I want it all to slow down.

Each morning he coos, beckoning me, "Come and get me, Mommy!" 

"I'm waiting to see you!"

Like his siblings when they were babies, he sees me and smiles. It's a smile so big, it would melt anyone's heart, only he melts mine that much more.

I'm his mommy and I'm filled with gratitude that he belongs to us. 

Tired...

and looking a bit melancholy, 

he takes it all in as he watches his brother and sisters play at the park. 

How did he get big enough to ride in the stroller without his infant seat?

I soak in every waking moment with him, even the tired and melancholy. 

His fuzzy hair, his baby smell, his belly giggles when I tickle him under his chin.

Life is such a miracle.

Without a shadow of a doubt, he is one that makes it worth living!

He loves unconditionally as does God, 

and so it is up to me to cherish that gift, that blessing,

and return it as fiercely as I know how.