"P", get it? {oh, Anna!}

I love this girl...

and while it's quite obvious that she has an older brother when you hang out with her, she has a spirit of her own. She tells it like it is, she is a jokester.

There are times when I know that I'm supposed to correct her, and it's all I can do to bite my tongue and keep the laughter from spilling right out of me. 

Most of the time, I can't fight it.

I took Anna to her Kindergarten assessment to see whether she would be an early worker or late worker in the reading schedule.

As I stapled packets for her teacher in the back of the room, I quietly listened to her responses.

Sometimes she answered correctly, sometimes not, but all in eagerness to answer.

So eager that her teacher asked, "What does the "p" sound make?"

Anna's answer? 

Pee, get it?

Oh, Anna. 

She made me snicker in the back of the Kindergarten classroom.

Luckily, it went over her teacher's head.

Love this girl...

it's all in your heart...{kieran's last day of kindergarten}

I'm not certain I have the right words to express the emotional journey that it has been, maybe more for me as a parent, than my little boy as a kindergartner.

Shortly after the first few weeks, the honeymoon period as they say, Kieran was having difficulties maintaining focus in school and performing the tasks at hand.

His favorite activities were recess and lunch, and though he liked to learn, he'd much rather be playing (but then, what Kindergartner wouldn't?).

Each day my heart would race upon picking him up and I would dread the comments that would come from the day. Getting him to do homework each night came with its own battles...is this how it's going to be for the next 18 years?

Kieran and I would have our talks and unbeknownst to him, I'd quietly cry. Was I doing something wrong? How can I help him to be the boy in school that I know he can be? 
I prayed.

I called my pediatrician. I read a great book, even emailed the author/doctor and received a response. I enrolled him in a great counseling program at school and we started him on a daily behavior chart.

Slowly, but surely...progress.

There were some days better than others, but always, always, his teacher would say, "Kieran, I am still proud of you".

They'd hug each other and we'd move on from the day. As the year went on, homework no longer became a battle. We began our first year of swim team and the daily routine started to set in. Mind you, by this point it was now April, but everything was coming together. 

It wasn't what I was doing wrong, but the things I was doing right. 
It wasn't that Kieran didn't want to learn, but that the traditional setting of school, especially for boys and especially Kieran, is not necessarily constructed to fit the way that he was molded.

The reality of it all, is that he does attend the traditional setting, but the great part about his teacher was that she was willing to help him adapt and make changes for him so that he could grow.

Now the beginning of May, his teacher sends me an email mid-morning. My heart skips as any mother's does when she's contacted about her child, and I read, "I just had to email you to let you know that Kieran has earned 6 circles so far and it has all been before lunch--he's never done this and I'm so excited for him!"

"Amazing!", I think to myself. It's a good day.

I picked Kieran up from school and he came running toward me, paper in hand, with the largest smile I had seen all year.

A perfect ten.
Yes, it was the only perfect report he had received all year, but it came on a Monday, after a weekend trip to Yosemite. Perhaps Monday's aren't so bad after all, or perhaps my son is learning that he can do anything when he puts his mind to it. I like to think it's the latter.
Whatever the case may be, Kieran has grown from the very first day,

to 

the very last day.

A special gift for his teacher (idea courtesy of my friend Melissa) to thank her for helping him to grow

definitely not in height, but surely in heart. 

She was absolutely wonderful.

The tears didn't fall on the first day, but oh, did they stream on the last.

Though the journey is just beginning for the both of us, and we have a long way to go, we are learning from each other. We are listening to one another (on most days). 

And, as Kieran has coined so prophetically, and often says to me at just right the moments,

"It's all in your heart, Mommy. It's all in your heart."

so far so great... {kieran and i go to kindergarten}

I've been nervous, for a while, for weeks really, about what Kindergarten would be like. Was it because I was worried that Kieran might be afraid, or because he might not make any friends? Was it because I felt like a fish out of water now being on the other side rather than my comfort zone as a school counselor? Perhaps. Or, maybe it was because even though I have been the extroverted child compared to my sweet sister, I felt the rush of being a kindergartner again, desperately running out of the classroom out to the school yard to be consoled by my mother's embrace. Yes, I sobbed and sobbed and my mother reassured me that everything would be okay. I sobbed again and again, until if I remember correctly, my dad was sent as the gate keeper and the problem quickly ceased. Still, I was scared and unsure, mostly of myself. 

Kieran started out his day with an obligatory picture in front of the house:

He has been asking all summer long, "Is today the day I go to Kindergarten?"

I've sensed that he has been excited and a little nervous, even though when asked, he said he didn't have any questions.

Using my mom radar and maybe a little bit of my school counseling tools, I could tell by the look on his face, he was excited, but the wheels were spinning. "What are you feeling right now, Kieran?"

"I'm a little scared", he answered. 

"That's okay, honey.", I replied. "Everyone is a little scared and nervous on their first day of school...elementary students, middle school students, high school students, even college students!" This seemed to alleviate his worries when he matter of factly answered, "Oh!"

As he walked up the path to school (wearing the backpack that I knew he did not need, but begged me for and received on the condition he'd use it for first grade, too!),

he pointed out that "elementary school is really big".
In an instant, I too came to a realization...my sweet baby boy is getting big, too!

"C'mon, Mommy!", he exclaimed. "Let's go!"
The well of water filled in my eyes as I felt the rush of kindergarten coming toward me as quickly as my son. There was no turning back. I did not have the arms of my mother to fall into for comfort. How did I get here? How did life come full circle? Wasn't I just in Mrs. K's class sitting in a circle while she strummed her guitar? Life was so easy then, so care-free!
Kieran's watchful eyes

quietly observed the classroom. I felt the butterflies in my stomach as he waited for his teacher to come over to her chair. Mrs. B had the kids stand up and as she pointed, they counted off...1...2...3..., all 23 children. "Wow!", she said. "There are 23 friends in this room!" Kieran was instantly thrilled and any fears that he had, melted into nothingness, as did mine.
A self portrait,

and a dawning moment that these small hands are those of my kindergartener.
So far, so great...

for both of us.