Thursday, August 25, 2011

so far so great... {kieran and i go to kindergarten}

I've been nervous, for a while, for weeks really, about what Kindergarten would be like. Was it because I was worried that Kieran might be afraid, or because he might not make any friends? Was it because I felt like a fish out of water now being on the other side rather than my comfort zone as a school counselor? Perhaps. Or, maybe it was because even though I have been the extroverted child compared to my sweet sister, I felt the rush of being a kindergartner again, desperately running out of the classroom out to the school yard to be consoled by my mother's embrace. Yes, I sobbed and sobbed and my mother reassured me that everything would be okay. I sobbed again and again, until if I remember correctly, my dad was sent as the gate keeper and the problem quickly ceased. Still, I was scared and unsure, mostly of myself. 
Kieran started out his day with an obligatory picture in front of the house:
He has been asking all summer long, "Is today the day I go to Kindergarten?"
I've sensed that he has been excited and a little nervous, even though when asked, he said he didn't have any questions.
Using my mom radar and maybe a little bit of my school counseling tools, I could tell by the look on his face, he was excited, but the wheels were spinning. "What are you feeling right now, Kieran?"
"I'm a little scared", he answered. 
"That's okay, honey.", I replied. "Everyone is a little scared and nervous on their first day of school...elementary students, middle school students, high school students, even college students!" This seemed to alleviate his worries when he matter of factly answered, "Oh!"
As he walked up the path to school (wearing the backpack that I knew he did not need, but begged me for and received on the condition he'd use it for first grade, too!),
he pointed out that "elementary school is really big".
In an instant, I too came to a sweet baby boy is getting big, too!
"C'mon, Mommy!", he exclaimed. "Let's go!"
The well of water filled in my eyes as I felt the rush of kindergarten coming toward me as quickly as my son. There was no turning back. I did not have the arms of my mother to fall into for comfort. How did I get here? How did life come full circle? Wasn't I just in Mrs. K's class sitting in a circle while she strummed her guitar? Life was so easy then, so care-free!
Kieran's watchful eyes
quietly observed the classroom. I felt the butterflies in my stomach as he waited for his teacher to come over to her chair. Mrs. B had the kids stand up and as she pointed, they counted off...1...2...3..., all 23 children. "Wow!", she said. "There are 23 friends in this room!" Kieran was instantly thrilled and any fears that he had, melted into nothingness, as did mine.
A self portrait,
and a dawning moment that these small hands are those of my kindergartener.
So far, so great...
for both of us.

1 comment :

  1. I love this post and your description of his first day. I could feel the anxiety and excitement in your writing and it makes me happy and sad to know in a few years I'll be sending off my little girl. Your children are beautiful and I look forward to following your blog!


It's a beautiful noise-And it's a sound that I love- And it makes me feel good-Like a hand in a glove -Yes it does, yes it does-What a beautiful noise

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